i think i have hit that amount of time in site/service, where what is considered normal/appropriate conversation is no longer filtered before leaving my mouth. in the past 3 days i have noticed that i have become exponentially more awkward, and honestly, not for the better. this makes me hesitant to have any conversations with any normal human being.

1. on sunday i met with my country director at an event. he made a comment on how i appear to have lost weight (honestly, god bless him because i feel the opposite with all the starches and sugar i take in), to which i made a quick response without thinking, “thanks. i have just been enjoying the food here and EVERYTHING that comes with it.” i immediately did a face palm. we, as volunteers, are accustomed to our bowel problems and talking about it openly with each other. however, i would say sharing such information with your country director is a whole other story. after i made this overshare of a quip, he repeated the phrase slowly to himself to make sense of it, and then realized the undertone of the message and started laughing. i was red with embarrassment and quickly switched the subject to his family. woops.

2. last night was my town’s iñikuk. this is a native pageant that showcases the moche language and culture and as well as the girls’ talents as well. they were kind enough to showcase me as well. they gave me a formal introduction and had me stand up and the hundreds of people their applauded. this was the opposite of my preferred stay in invisible as much as a gringa can mentality. then i was asked to hand all the candidates their questions for the question and answer portion. the mc then started asking me a lot questions, to which he asked if texas was near mexico. i said yes, and also new mexico and oklahoma. why???? the mc was starting to chuckle a bit. my nerves, they just got to me. why would anyone find oklahoma relevant here (no offense) or even new mexico??? yet, i still used them as a point of reference while i had a lot of blank stares. i just wanted to run. but instead i tried to gracefully give the girls their question cards. also, i wish there was warning about my stage debut….i would have brushed my teeth or put on some makeup or something….

anyways, moral of the story is that i am awkward. i am embracing it. so should you.

Tagged ,

2 thoughts on “logorrhea.

  1. tcmerrill@charter.net says:

    My darling Erin..you have just proved youre human…and are learning …I still am at 79…it will always be there, those times when your wished you had done or said something different…don’t make too much of it..those people will not make much of it…love your blogs and you take care ..love you , your Gran

  2. Cat and Fox says:

    Awkwardness level 94744839.

    Wish I could have been there… both times. 🙂

yes. please.

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